Sex, Lies and Stereotypes

So...yesterday was Super Bowl Sunday and can I just say I am ecstatic that the Sh*tsburg Steelers lost!! Woooohoooo! Very happy that Green Bay won, I'm not a fan of theirs but they never lost their focus the entire season and I think they were very deserving of being this years Super Bowl champs. And most importantly, I get some relief from hearing black and freaking yellow coming out of every obnoxious Steeler fan's mouth.



Anyway, the shindig was at my uncles house. His wife (my aunt), my pops, his fiance, my sister and cousin were all in attendance. After the game went off, we started randomly chatting about life, kids, marriage, the usual topics on the menu. Now somehow the topic came up about why men can reproduce longer than women. I really have no idea how that even started, knowing me and my A.D.D., I was probably texting or facebooking. Furthermore, I really havent a clue why an 80 year old man still has the ability to reproduce while a woman stops reproducing at about her 50s. I've never given it much thought and honestly I don't plan on popping out any bambinos when I'm fifty-something. Next thing I knew that conversation turned into why are men allowed to screw anything that moves and it should be acceptable, whereas a woman who decides to have a little fun is automatically deemed a whore. Now, I'm all about girl power. And theres nothing I hate more than a double standard. Granted I am a little old school when it comes to men and women fulfilling their roles. I do believe that a man should be a provider to his family and be the one to take care of his wife and kids AND I also believe that every woman should have some sort of domesticism (um is that even a word? shrugs) within them. Men should be the providers, women should be the nurturers. I have absolutely no problem agreeing with that TO A CERTAIN EXTENT! What extent is that? I'm glad you asked!! It is 2011, not 1960. Meaning that if my husband is the provider and I'm staying at home cooking, cleaning and taking care of his bad ass kids, that does not give him the right to rip and run the streets and sleep with whomever who wants, and that I have no choice but to accept it. It's the same sick, sad tired excuse: "Let a man be a man." But realistically, why is it that "being a man" in our society is defined by the number of women he can tally on a score card? I also find it sad and even more disheartening when I hear women say "Girl so what if he's cheating on you? As long as he keeps your wardrobe tight and a roof over your head, you shouldn't worry about the dirt he does on the side." If thats not the most deluded, most sickening piece of nonsense I ever heard in my life, I really dont know what is. Where is the importance, the value and the sacredness of the vows that a man and a woman took before God? Its no wonder people no longer believe in marriage when you hear others saying that a man's infidelity is the one loophole to "Thou shall not commit adultery".

So by this point, the conversation is extremely heated (but then again, does my family ever have discussions that arent? Thats why I love em). And my uncle says " I'm gonna keep it real. The main reason the majority of men act the way they do is because you women allow it to happen." I swear, you woulda thought World War V jumped off in the living room. The debate escalated and continued for another 45 minutes. You know what ladies? My uncle is right. Don't talk junk about not being able to find a good man when you sit there and take crap and settle for less than what you deserve. As women, myself included, we really need to exercise better judgement and we need to step our game up when we think about what we want in a man. The "why do good girls like bad boys?" mentality needs to go. Again, myself included because I definitely crushed on a few roughnecks in my life. And it all ended up in disaster. Furthermore, I've met some really good guys in my life that I ended up pushing to the side for the same no good roughnecks! It's a vicious cycle and, ladies, a lot of us are enabling that cycle. I gotta admit, if I was a dude and I was cheating on my girl and she found out about it and I continued to do it and she continued to take me back, I would keep cheating on her! Thats real talk. Cuz at that point I'm not just looking at her as my girl, I'm also looking at her as my doormat. I do believe that for the most part, every man is looking for a challenge and there is nothing all too pleasing about a woman who is a push over.

I could go on and on and on but WWE Raw is about to come on (yay!) I say all this to say that there is absolutely nothing that we can do about preexisting stereotypes of men and women. We can't change someone's behavior if they are set in their ways. It sucks that a woman can never be as free spirited as a man without someone passing some sort of judgement on her and it also sucks that a lot of us women do not know how to appreciate a good man when one walks into our life. At the end of the day its all about taking accountability for your own actions and knowing what you will and will not stand for in a relationship. There are plenty of good women and plenty of good men ( where da hell are ya'll??) out there. Just know what your worth and try your best not to feed into those tired stereotypes that will continue to haunt us until who knows when. Signing off...

Kisses!
Von